"Her beauty was sold for an old man's gold,
 She's a bird in a gilded cage."
    ARTHUR J. LAMB

"The law must be stable, but it must not stand still."
    ROSCOE POUND

"Most women are not so young as they are painted."
    SIR MAX BEERBOHM

"If you don't say anything, you won't be called on to repeat it."
    CALVIN COOLIDGE

"Does anyone REALLY read these stupid quotes?"
    The SysOp

"Say it with flowers."
    PATRICK F. O'KEEFE

"All truths begin as blasphemies."
    GEORGE B. SHAW

"Trust me - I know what I'm doing."
    SLEDGE HAMMER

"No opium-smoking in the elevators."
    WILSON MIZNER, sign in hotel he managed

"The worst cliques are those which consist of one man."
    GEORGE B. SHAW

"It's a trip through a sewer in a glass-bottomed boat."
    WILSON MIZNER, comment about Hollywood

"I am a One Hundred Percent American;
 I am a superpatriot."
    WILLIAM W. WOOLLCOTT

"Men of the South!  It is better to die on your feet than to live on your 
 knees."
    EMILIANO ZAPATA

"'Twixt the optimist and pessimist
 The difference is droll:
 The optimist sees the doughnut
 But the pessimist sees the hole."
    McLANDBURGH WILSON

"I'm only a beer teetotaler, not a champagne teetotaler."
    GEORGE B. SHAW

"There will be no beans in the Almost Perfect State."
    DONALD MARQUIS

"Can you imagine the silence if everyone said only what he knows?"
    KAREL CAPEK