First Law of Laboratory Work:
  Hot glass looks exactly the same as cold glass.

Handy Guide to Modern Science:
1.  If it's green or it wiggles, it's biology.
2.  If it stinks, it's chemistry.
3.  If it doesn't work, it's physics.

To err is human, but to really foul things up requires a computer.

The Sausage Principle:
  People who love sausage and respect the law
  should never watch either one being made.

Horngren's Observation: (generalized)
  The real world is a special case.

Merkin's Maxim:
  When in doubt, predict that the present trend will continue.

Hawkin's Theory of Progress:
  Progress does not consist of replacing a theory that is wrong
  with one that is right. It consists of replacing a theory that is
  wrong with one that is more subtly wrong.

Never attribute to malice that which is
adequately explained by stupidity.

Matz's warning:
  Beware of the physician who is great at getting out of trouble.

Gold's Law:
  If the shoe fits, it's ugly.

Lewis' Law:
  People will buy anything that's one to a customer.

Law of Reruns:
  If you have watched a TV series only once, and you watch
  it again, it will be a rerun of the same episode.

Shirley's Law:
  Most people deserve each other.

Forgive and remember.

Woltman's Law:
  Never program and drink beer at the same time.

Gallois' Revelation:
  If you put tomfoolery into a computer, nothing comes out
  but tomfoolery. But this tomfoolery, having passed through a
  very expensive machine, is somehow enobled, and no one dares
  to criticize it.

Galbraith's Law of Political Wisdom:
  Anyone who says he is not going to resign, four times, definitely will.