Ralph's Observation:
  It is a mistake to allow any mechanical object
  to realize that you are in a hurry.

Cole's Law:
  Thinly sliced cabbage

Time flies like an arrow, but fruit flies like a banana.

Firestone's Law of Forcasting:
  Chicken Little only has to be right once.

Manly's Maxim:
  Logic is a systematic method of coming to
  the wrong conclusion with confidence.

Moer's truism:
  The trouble with most jobs is the job holder's
  resemblence to being one of a sled dog team. No one
  gets a change of scenery except the lead dog.

Cannon's Comment:
  If you tell the boss you were late for work because you
  had a flat tire, the next morning you will have a flat tire.

MURPHY'S LAW:
  If anything can go wrong, it will.

Murphy's Corollary:
  Left to themselves, things tend to go from bad to worse.

Murphy's Corollary:
  It is impossible to make anything foolproof
  because fools are so ingenious

Murphy's Constant:
  Matter will be damaged in direct proportion to its value

Quantized Revision of Murphy's Law:
  Everything goes wrong all at once.

O'Toole's Commentary:
  Murphy was an optimist.

Scott's Second Law:
  When an error has been detected and corrected,
  it will be found to have been correct in the first place.

Finagle's First Law:
  If an experiment works, something has gone wrong.

Finagle's Second Law:
  No matter what the experiment's result, there
  will always be someone eager to:
  (a) misinterpret it,
  (b) fake it, or
  (c) believe it supports his own pet theory.