Allen's Law:
  Almost anything is easier to get into than out of.

Allen's Axiom:
  When all else fails, follow instructions.

Allen's Distinction:
  The lion and the calf shall lie down together,
  but the calf won't get much sleep.
  You can lead a horticulture, but you can't make her think.

Avery's Observation:
  It does not matter if you fall down as long as you
  pick up something from the floor while you get up.

Berra's Law:
  You can observe a lot just by watching.

Bicycle Law:
  All bicycles weigh 50 pounds:
  A 30 pound bicycle needs a 20 pound lock.
  A 40 pound bicycle needs a 10 pound lock.
  A 50 pound bicycle doesn't need a lock.

Cohen's Law:
  What really matters is the name you succeed in imposing on
  the facts, not the facts themselves.

Colson's Law:
  When you've got them by the balls, their hearts
  and minds will follow.

Comin's Law:
  People will accept your idea much more readily if you
  tell them Benjamin Franklin said it first.

Fourth Law of Thermodynamics:
If the probability of success is not almost one,
then it is damned near zero.

Gerrold's Laws of Infernal Dynamics:
1. An object in motion will be heading in the wrong direction.
2. An object at rest will be in the wrong place.

Goldwyn's Law of Contracts.
  A verbal contract isn't worth the paper it's written on.

Jacquin's Postulate on Democratic Government:
  No man's life, liberty, or property are safe while
  the legislature is in session.

Jone's Principle:
  Needs are a function of what other people have.

Langin's Law:
  If things were left to chance,
  they'd be better.

In America, it's not how much an item costs that matters,
it's how much you save.